Be Here Now (Where here = online + in the room)

I work from home full-time building at least three businesses: my creative writing career, my editing business, and, with my husband, Chris, Emotion Technology. I've been self-employed for over six years, and I love it. It comes with its challenges, no doubt, but for me, the sacrifices are worth the privilege of being able to set my own schedule, choose my colleagues, and have zero commute.

One of the biggest challenges began three years ago, when Chris also started working from home. Since we're two different people, we have different working styles, and merging them can be tricky.

Maintaining respectful relationships with your co-workers is important no matter where you work, but when your only co-worker is also your spouse, business partner, best friend, and roommate, the stakes are high. If I snap at him for interrupting my train of thought, it means more than an awkward eight hours at the office.

Your highest integrity and kindness is on call all day, every day.

There is literally nowhere to escape.



Which is why I loved Dr. Brené Brown's post yesterday called "They Don't Need Us to Be Sorry, Just Present." She's talking specifically about the relationship between social media careers and family, especially children, but I gobbled up her concrete tips on how she's trying to honor both.

Especially this one:

2. I’m employing the Nordstrom method of engaging. The salespeople at Nordstrom always walk around to the front of the register table to hand you your bag. They never reach over the counter. I’m trying to do the same thing. I’m trying to never talk to my kids over the top of my laptop or while I’m staring at the screen.

If I’m working and they need something quick (e.g., Where are my goggles?), I’ll pause, look them in the eye and tell them. If they need more attention, I say, “I want to talk to you about this. Give me ten minutes to finish my work.” Obviously, if it’s important, I shut the top and physically turn my body toward them. I started this a few months ago and now both of my kids will often say, “When you’re done can you . . . “

I don't have kids, but that last example makes my heart melt with gratitude and joy anyway. What a gorgeous thing to model -- two-way respect between work and family. Both of those satisfy basic human instincts in different ways, and this whole oil-and-water dialogue we've got going in the U.S. about work and family is so 2000.

When I'm feeling compassionate towards myself, I consider our work-at-home arrangement as our personal activism toward forging a new kind of family partnership -- another paradigm to choose from. It's time.

Protector of Plants

Last week, we made it to free afternoon yoga at Ruta Maya Coffeehouse -- "Happy Hour Yoga," as they call it. Turns out that 5:30 p.m. is a fantastic time to stop everything and move your body.

We sat on our mats and waited for the class to begin. A young guy in a beige delivery uniform walked up to the small stage, his hands full of slightly battered but alive potted orchids, begonias, and other flowering plants. He made several trips up there, and one or two students got up to take a plant.

When class began, the teacher said, "These plants are donated by Travis; he works at a nursery and they would otherwise be thrown away, so please feel free to take what you would like." I took the plant above, with its tiny, beautiful flowers. He made me wonder about what simple acts of generosity I could easily make to brighten someone else's day.

Here's to Travis, protector of imperfect plants and joy activist.

I Love You

Love Thursday tumbled over into Friday! I found this via the delicious Dr. Christiane Northrup. It's about a year old, so it might have made the rounds before, but it's worth watching again.

I love you!

Love Thursday: Lawn

Even though the poor little grass blades were folding up and leaning over, we held off until today to water our lawn because some sources said it was supposed to rain. (Chortle, chortle, Austin-in-June.)

One of my favorite things about summer is placing the water sprinklers in the yard. Some of summer's best sensual treats are the tick-tick-tick, the soaked-wet pants leg from trying to get the spray just right, the sound inside the house of stray droplets slapping the siding when the wind blows.



Did I mention that I really love this new lens? I love seeing every single drop of water flying out to feed the lawn. (The sunlight looks like I waited too late to put the sprinklers out but I promise, that's just what it looks like in Texas during the summer any time after 7 a.m.)

I haven't yet run through a sprinkler this summer. That definitely needs to happen.

Ahhhh... And Exhale

It's always worth looking up.



Especially on days like this.