Mighty Life List

Big cheers to Maggie Mason, the brilliant Goddess behind Mighty Girl, for the Mighty Life List inspiration.

I wrote this last week, after dragging my heels on the idea for, oh, as long as possible. I've made desire lists regularly for the last seven years, but a Life List seemed like an intimidating cousin to the desire list. Then I started the list, and some of the things on it made me giggle and blush, which tells me I'm on the right track.

Yesterday, #49 found me. On Tuesday, I'll be an extra on "Friday Night Lights" all day. Already, one item on my Life List will be complete! This made me think I should put this list farther out into the world.

Since it makes me nervous, I'm jumping in with both feet. And posting this photo of me at three, as a reminder to be gentle with myself, for crying out loud.

Like everything in the universe, this list is subject to change, glitter, landslides, warrior slashes, evolution, laughter, and Life.

1. Speak fluent Spanish
2. Speak conversational Vietnamese
3. Have a conversation in Italian with Lillyrose
4. Visit Vietnam: Da Lat, Saigon, Hue
5. Win an Oscar and attend the ceremonies
6. Give birth to at least two kids at home, orgasmically, ecstatically
7. Write and publish a novel
8. Take a photography class
9. Get a graduate degree in something delightful
10. Write a book about the Gandin family history with Aunt Eileen
11. Travel to: Japan, Mexico, Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica, Greenland, Iceland, Ghana, South Africa, Montana, Greece, Australia
12. Write a children's book
13. Sing back-up harmony on a U.S. tour with a fabulous musician
14. Own a home in Houston
15. Swim in the Dead Sea
16. Walk the halls of Daphne DuMaurier's mansion in Cornwall
17. Learn to foxtrot and swing dance
18. Learn how to apply my own make-up really well
19. Lie in the grass and watch clouds with my future children during the summer
20. Teach a writing class
21. Take singing lessons
22. Write a song
23. Take a photographic/writing road trip with Vu across the U.S., visiting towns with populations of 500 and less, to talk with people there and take pictures.
24. Write and sell a book about being a Preacher's Kid
25. Sell my journals and archives to the Ransom Center at UT or another library
26. Publish a book of photographs and essays
27. Own a work/writing studio within walking or biking distance from my house that is 100% my space
28. Compile a book of the women in my family
29. Record a song with Kimmi
30. Live in the Lake District for a year or two
31. Visit Paris again
32. Write a letter to myself on every birthday, beginning this year
33. Take a class with Natalie Goldberg
34. Learn to can fruits and vegetables
35. Make my own jam
36. Teach S Factor or a similar movement
37. Buy season tickets to the Round Rock Express once we have kids
38. Go on Mama's tour of SoCal with the Steel Mags
39. Train a puppy
40. Pay off our credit card debt
41. Learn to read tarot
42. Perform the lead in a musical
43. Take a month-long writing retreat somewhere beautiful, where all my daily needs are taken care of
44. Keep fresh seasonal flowers on our table for an entire year
45. Spend a work-free month in Italy with Vu, filled with sensual pleasures
46. Inspire a fragrance
47. Inspire John Fluevog to design a pair of shoes for me
48. Learn to play the lap steel
49. Visit the "Friday Night Lights" set -- Thank you, Karin in Extras Casting! 6/2/2010
50. Hang at least one piece of art on each wall from one of our artist friends
51. Create a Gandin Le Family trust and/or endowment
52. Meet Christian Bale in a juicy and flirtatious encounter
53. Take a cooking class
54. Master 100 vegetarian and/or healthy recipes on my own
55. Rekindle my letter-writing relationship with Ann
56. Read a novel a month for a year
57. Have a monthly play day with my sister
58. Win a MacArthur Genius grant
59. Learn 100 songs that fit my voice perfectly
60. Zipline in 5 beautiful places
61. Taste 1,000 kinds of cheeses: Argentine Gruyerito. Argentine Pategras Mar Del Plata. Hennings Cheddar Cheese Curds.
62. Grow and harvest a crop of squash in my backyard
63. Sleep in a castle
64. Create a lush screened-in outdoor space in our yard
65. Visit Cape Breton
66. Visit all of the 50 states
67. Recognize 25 constellations
68. Fold 1,000 paper cranes, then visit the Sadako Sasaki memorial in Hiroshima
69. Visit 10 sites of ancient Goddess worship
70. Ride a horse
71. Be profiled in InStyle's "Her 10 Best Ever" section
72. Learn how to play the piano again
73. See "Tuesday" produced into a gorgeous film
74. Record 100 women's stories about pleasurable pregnancy and birth while I'm pregnant
75. Receive private tour of the Taj Mahal
76. Have dinner with Eleanor Coppola in Napa
77. Host an annual themed Freeze-Off ice-cream-making contest
78. Visit the Egyptian pyramids
79. Buy and use a Eurail pass
80. Take a European tour with Rick Steves himself
81. Photograph the aurora borealis
82. Become a five-borough NYC tour guide
83. Learn the basics of design
84. Grow my hair long in a style that looks fantastic
85. Launch "Our Square Meters" as a community earth-changers site
86. Have David Bornfriend do a wet plate collodion portrait of me
87. Visit O'Keeffe's New Mexico
88. Locate, name, and costume my inner diva
89. Visit 100 Texas state parks
90. Photograph 1,000 flowers in macro
91. Grow 1,000 kinds of plants from seed
92. Go behind the scenes: Visit a landfill, a recycling plant, an oil refinery, a commercial farm, a vinyl record factory,
93. Take Chris to the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory
94. Taste 1,000 kinds of bread
95. Paraglide
96. Visit 100 botanical gardens worldwide
97. Listen to space at the Very Large Array
98. Witness a tornado (that causes no damage or death, and from a safe distance)
99. Stay in the ice hotel
100. Sit in on an Explosions in the Sky recording session
101. Visit the eastern and western-most points of each continent
102. Visit or participate in the U.S.'s longest-running July 4th parade in Bristol, Rhode Island, which has had a parade every year since 1785.

Twilight and The Story of O

Last night, our friend, John, lugged his PS3 and two Twilight Blu-ray discs to our place for a little glitter-watching Twilight evening. No, we're not superfans, but John landed two extra tickets to the opening night of Eclipse in June, so Chris said yes, on a lark. This meant that he needed to catch up. I saw the first movie in the theatre with my mom and sister and cringed through most of it. Partially from teenage-girl recognition, partially from the melodrama, but mostly from Bella's awful victimhood.

This second time, with my camp-loving husband squee-ing beside me, it hit me -- how did I not realize that Bella isn't a lame-o victim; she's just a total masochist? She gets off on danger, on pain. That's totally her choice. She's definitely not my heroine or choice for an awesome role model, but anti-feminist? I can't say that.

Especially as the first movie was directed by, written by, based on a novel by, starring, executive produced by, and edited by WOMEN. These films also make huge amounts of money and show the industry that women and girls are a huge moneymaking audience.

My friend agreed with me, but thinks that neither a victim nor masochist makes a sympathetic character.

Bella might not be a sympathetic character, but she certainly is an interesting one. Chris compared her to The Story of O; I think that's apt. Except, of course, she has much less sex. And she's much more Mormon.

And actually, she's more of a sympathetic character than I initially thought. Maybe I'd like to push her far away from me because I like to think of myself as a woman who has total agency in her life, who doesn't want rescue or need to play helpless...

...but I can think of at least three ways I still claim the lingering role of victim. Even though I know better, even though it makes no sense, even though I'm trying to step into my power more and more all the time. Hey, at least she's consistent about her choice to get into trouble, play the victim, need rescuing.

ReadyMade Magazine: Majora Carter

February/March 2007

In the section O Eco Pioneers! Three urban development projects transforming modern environmentalism.

Raising the Roof

A South Bronx native brought sustainability to New York City's blighted borough, and revived it from the ground up.

Get this straight: Majora Carter is not anti-development. "I've embraced my inner capitalist," says the 40-year-old founder of Sustainable South Bronx, a nonprofit dedicated to improving life in the borough through green means. "I believe that sustainable, community-friendly development can also make a fortune."

Carter won a MacArthur Foundation grant in 2005 for this belief and her work, to, as she puts it, "green the ghetto." She grew up in a house that her father bought in 1948 in what was then a predominantly white, middle-class neighborhood. By the mid-1960s, however, the face of the South Bronx was changing. In 1963, Robert Moses, the city's grand poobah of urban planning, plowed the Cross-Bronx Expressway through the borough, displacing more than 600,000 residents.

As a child in the '70s, Carter watched as her neighborhood became a national symbol of urban blight. Banks redlined the area, neighbors moved out, and industrial plants moved in. "I watched 50 percent of my neighborhood burn down -- blocks and blocks of structurally sound buildings were just gutted," she recalls. Soon Carter also left, to study film at Wesleyan.

In 1997, after completing an MFA at New York University, Carter moved back home. The scene was grim. Major industries had overwhelmed the neighborhood, bringing more than 60,000 diesel truck trips through the South Bronx per week and creating one of the highest asthma populations in the entire city. "No one wanted to be here, but people couldn't afford to leave," she says.

When she heard about the city's plan to build yet another waste-transfer station in the area, she fought back and contested the proposal. Three years into the battle, she won.

After leading that charge, Carter knew she had found her cause, and in 2001 she founded Sustainable South Bronx (SSBX), a nonprofit that undertakes everything from green roof installation to "green-collar" job training in sustainable development. SSBX's seven staff members launch projects like the South Bronx Greenway, a network of bicycle and pedestrian paths along the waterfront. They also prototyped the Bronx Environmental Stewardship Training (BEST) program, a 12-week intensive begun in 2003, that offers instruction in natural resource management and prepares participants for living-wage jobs with growth potential. Of the 40 BEST graduates – most of whom never graduated from high school and receive some form of public assistance – more than 80 percent have gotten jobs in sustainable-development positions. "These are people who have both a financial and personal stake in the environment," says Carter.

Carter's goal is to connect environmental health, well-being, and economics in people's minds. "I’m pushing environmental justice for what it is – an extension of the civil rights movement. I'm not considered the best voice for the environmental movement, but I add color to this conversation in ways people don't expect."

Time Out New York: Eve Ensler

June 8 - 14, 2006 issue

Antiviolent femme

Eve Ensler fights domestic violence with a citywide awareness festival.

Ten years ago, Eve Ensler stormed a New York stage to demand freedom for vaginas everywhere. Since then, she's been focusing on another type of female empowerment: freeing women from the dangers of domestic violence. After the success of The Vagina Monologues, Ensler launched the V-Day Foundation in 1998, an organization that raises money and awareness by producing benefit performances of The Vagina Monologues all over the world every February. (The V stands for victory, valentine and, of course, vagina.) Next week, she's focusing her mission here at home, where V-Day started, with Until the Violence Stops: NYC, a two-week five-borough arts festival that combines celebrity power with local activism.

"We want to essentially occupy New York," says Ensler, who spoke with TONY after a May 18 City Hall press conference announcing the event. To do that, Ensler dreamed up a festival of theater, spoken word, film and performance, and then used her reputation as a both a writer and actor to attract big-name talents. Jane Fonda, Phylicia Rashad and Marcia Gay Harden will read Ensler's 2001 play about women and war, Necessary Targets which kicks off the series on Monday 12. On June 19, writers Edwidge Danticat, Edward Albee, Howard Zinn and Alice Walker are among those who'll contribute original works to "A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer," where they will be read by Cynthia Nixon, Rosario Dawson and Isabella Rossellini. And on June 21, Salma Hayek and Rosie O'Donnell perform essays written by women in federal prisons across the country. Several other "marquee" events (as they're called on the website) feature similarly star-studded casts: Marlo Thomas, Idina Menzel, Kerry Washington and Brittany Murphy.

On the grassroots side, V-Day called on dozens of local groups to participate. The result is more than 35 community events, including a self-defense class on Wednesday 15, a panel discussion with women from global conflict zones on Tuesday 13 and a domestic-violence information forum on June 17.

And UTVS won't ignore the fellas. V-Day Men (a committee made up of male leaders in domestic-violence prevention, such as Jackson Katz, author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help) has developed "V-Day Men @ Work," a symposium that explores the roots of violence toward women The June 24 workshop also includes a creative session during which the guys will be encouraged to express their feelings about domestic violence and male gender roles. Then some of these works will be presented at It's Hard Out Here for a Girl" on June 25.

"V-Day was born in New York City, and Until the Violence Stops: NYC takes our message directly to the people of New York," Ensler told the crowd assembled at the press conference, which also featured Mayor Bloomberg. The city itself is helping to spread that message through its own subway and bus ad campaign that graphically depicts abused women. The statistics are even worse than the photos: One out of every eight homicides in New York City is due to domestic violence. "We can't hide from the brutality of these crimes," said Bloomberg.

V-Day's efforts are helping, though. Ensler noted that rates of rape went down in areas where V-Day has presented programs, and that the organization has also raised funds for community-abased antiviolence programs and safe houses in places as far-ranging as Kenya, Egypt, Iraq and South Dakota. "It's clear that we're having an enormous impact," she told the crowd. "But [violence against women] is still the issue that people get to later, when they're done with the other issues." Across the globe, Ensler has been inspired by thousands of women who have been victimized. "Instead of picking up AK-47s or machetes, they dedicate themselves to eradicating violence," she explains. "They're full of a wild, extraordinary energy. It's contagious." She's hoping this festival will fire up a similar ardor here at home.

Time Out New York: Tara Bracco

April 27-May 3, 2006 issue

Words Up

Politic and poetry collide at Tara Bracco's annual reading bash

Ten years ago, Tara Bracco, then a recent college grad, was miserable. She'd just been dumped by her first love, she was sleeping on her friend's floor, and she had no clue what to do with her life. But instead of taking a shitty temp job, she decided to figure things out on a cross-country tour: Armed with $600 and an Amtrak pass, she traveled through upstate New York, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco and Los Angeles, writing and performing new poems about gender equality and love. "I felt cradled by coffeehouses," she said recently when she met with TONY – appropriately enough at Mudspot café in the East Village.

Outspoken and politically-minded since her days as a self-declared high-school drama freak on Long Island, Bracco got hooked on performance poetry while she was a student at Marymount Manhattan College. Her countrywide journey allowed her to fuse her budding activism with her love of performance – and inspired her to work in the nonprofit sector when she finally settled back in NYC. She even spent a week at the Center for Popular Economics last summer – for fun.

And for the past four years, the self-proclaimed punk poetry princess has been returning the love she found in the nation's coffeehouses by nurturing local talent. On Thursday 27, she presents her fourth annual "Poetic People Power" event at the Nuyorican Poets Café, a project that combines literary performance and political activism in honor of National Poetry Month. Each year, Bracco chooses eight poets to write new works on a single issue (This year's theme is "Raise the Wage"). She acts as director, producer and host, structuring the poems into "sets." The readings draw a mixed crowd, from hard-core political activists to poetry-reading circuit regulars.

Bracco, 30, produced her first reading in 2003, in support of Poets Against the War. It went well, but she worried that the antiwar community would disperse when the war got off to a smooth start, so she decided to diversify into other causes. "Had I known how long [the war] would last, I might have kept organizing those events," she says. Instead, she used that first reading as a springboard to an annual series. Since then, while working various day jobs, she's produced two more "Poetic People Power" evenings dealing with, respectively, voting and democracy, and the environment.

To spark ideas for her poets' assignments, she compiles a resource list of websites, articles and other media. "You can't be truly enraged if you're not informed about the extent of the problem," she says. "Two-time participant Erica DeLaRosa says she appreciates the help. "It's a great motivator… . The commission pushes me to learn more about how these issues affect the world that I speak for."

Bracco says she chose the "Raise the Wage" theme because the working poor are among America's most disenfranchised – and least outspoken. "When people's basic needs aren't cared for, you won't hear voices speaking out. If I'm only eating a bagel a day, how does that make me feel empowered to change things?"

The Puffin Foundation recently gave Bracco a grant in support of this year's event. "The prestige and funding passes on to these new artists," she says. "It's not a 'me' project." This attests to the warm and respectful atmosphere she strives to create for her poets. Chris Martin, a recent winner of the prestigious Hayden Carruth Award and a participant in Bracco's readings since 2004, says, "Before Tara, I'd never done a reading where I hung out in a green room."

In the future, Bracco plans to produce a "Poetic People Power" CD, website, book and documentary – projects that will build toward her goal of creating an international community of political poets. "What we're doing is real and impactful. I have people writer me after the event and say, 'I went home and wrote a poem.' " She pauses, then lifts her hands and says, "Remember in seventh-grade chorus class, when we all hummed one note? I envision an activism that's a sustained hum. When one person drops out, you don't notice, because everyone else continues."